I remember one time when I got angry with my Mom and she said, " Where is Mr. Yoga now!" And I replied, " Just because I'm a yogi it doesn't mean I don't get angry." The funny part is that the more I progress on the path the more emotional I have become. I used to be so out of touch with my emotions both good and bad, that I would only notice weeks later sometimes how I felt about something. People I knew, especially woman friends complained that I never talked about how I felt about anything.
Though I denied it, they were right. I was so numb, I barely felt things and I was so mistrustful that I would never share anything personal with anyone even if I was aware of it. Years of yoga, therapy, somatic movement, attempts to practice non-violent communication, meditation and a general desire to bring my actions in line with my heart slowly opened me up till now I often know when I want to smack somebody, when I need a hug, when I want to give one and the myriad other feelings large and small that I go through every day.
For me, being a yogi means striving to become aware of what is alive inside of me, the good, the bad and the ugly. Witnessing what I go through and trying to treat myself with compassion is a big part of this. And you know what? The more I find the kindness that I need inside me, the more I have available for others. But still, once in awhile, I'm sure I'm going to want to smack somebody ;--) Of course I won't, I'll say, "You know I'm feeling really frustrated right now, since I was so counting things looking a certain way and I'm finding I want to blame you for them being different. Would you mind if just gave you a good smack to get it out of my system?" ;--)