Showing posts with label When Things Fall Apart. Show all posts
Showing posts with label When Things Fall Apart. Show all posts

Buckets of Compassion Required


"If we see that we have no mindfulness, that we rarely refrain, that we have little well-being, that is not confusion, that's the beginning of clarity." Pema Chodron from When Things Fall Apart

This is a central irony. To start cleaning up a mess you have to notice that you have made one. Just noticing the problem is the first step toward cleaning it up. While this may be deeply embarrassing when it happens, it happens to all of us, over and over again. That's why a sense of humor is also important ;--) and hopefully buckets of compassion from yourself and those around you.

Suggested Reading:
When Things Fall Apart, Heart Advice for Difficult Times
by Pema Chodron.
The book is available for purchase here on the website: When Things Fall Apart

I'd love to hear from you.  Please connect with me on the  Facebook Page and Instagram feed to get more Yoga wisdom, science, style, and fun everyday! And make sure to Subscribe to Everyday Yoga for more great posts like this one delivered to your inbox!
   
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Smile for Clarity of Mind


"When the lake has no ripples, everything in the lake can be seen. When the water is all churned up, nothing can be seen. The still lake without ripples is an image of our minds at ease, so full of unlimited friendliness for all the junk at the bottom of the lake that we don't need to churn up the waters just to avoid looking at what's there."

Pema Chodron from When Things Fall Apart

There is an easy way to cultivate this "unlimited friendliness". Smile. Try this when when you feel anxious, angry, lonely or other difficult feelings come up. You may find it is hard to stay stuck in the doldrums when your face is beaming.

Did you ever hear the expression for being drunk, "feeling no pain"? Have you ever read the the ecstatic words of the sufi poet Rumi, speaking of connection to the divine as an intoxication? Have you ever had a moment of clarity where everything made sense? It felt like your life was perfect and complete? This unlimited friendliness Pema Chodron tells us about is the elixir that brings on the feeling that we are whole, safe and secure. Greeting whatever unfolds in the next moment with curiosity and openness.

Deep inside we all wish this for ourselves and we know it is possible. Unfortunately, we have all these habits of mind that churn the waters, obscuring things. When we become defensive or angry or woeful inquisitiveness and warmth go out the window.

People take drugs to reach a state of painlessness and safety. This actually works but there is always a price. We can cultivate unlimited friendliness in many ways. Yoga is a good first step. Meditation is wonderful for this. And there are little turns of mind that we can use that also point the way.
Here is an exercise to do when you are feeling anxious and uncomfortable, perhaps angry about something or fearful. Smile. It is hard to dwell in negativity with a smile on your face. If you don't believe me, try it. Next time you have some difficult situation come up step outside your tension and smile. This may help you to greet your problem with friendliness and allow you to understand where your discomfort is coming from giving more options for going forward. When you try this, please come back here and let me know how it went. ;--)
Suggested Reading:
When Things Fall Apart, Heart Advice for Difficult Times
by Pema Chodron.
The book is available for purchase here on the website: When Things Fall Apart

=I'd love to hear from you.  Please connect with me on the  Facebook Page and Instagram feed to get more Yoga wisdom, science, style, and fun everyday! And make sure to Subscribe to Everyday Yoga for more great posts like this one delivered to your inbox!
   
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A Dream Worth Dreaming


"If we are willing to give up hope that insecurity and pain can be exterminated, then we can have the courage to relax with the groundlessness of our situation. This is the first step on the path."
Pema Chodron - When Things Fall Apart

Photo By Samat K Jain https://www.flickr.com/photos/tamasrepus/

I have been looking at this picture on and off for a few hours now and it has really grown on me. At first I was struck by how forbidding the landscape is. How really awful it would feel to be in this dry and unwelcoming environment. I think in some ways the spiritual path looks like that to me. Being totally truthful, practicing regular self care, feeling all my pain without looking for exits ... sounds sort of boring and uncomfortable. Like the photo in a way. The worst of all possible worlds. But as I have seen it again and again, the texture of the landscape, interesting rock formations and undulations, beautiful tough, little bushes and shrubs keep calling to me. The hiker now looks to me like they are beginning an exciting adventure, not heading into a barren wilderness. I'm guessing that if I could really get comfortable with the idea that I will always be visited by insecurity and pain from time to time, the beauty and richness of this very human situation comes out and replaces or at very least softens the fear and resistance. How amazing it would be to find oneself intrigued and absorbed by whatever comes up good or bad. To be always eager to experience the next unfolding moment. That my friend is a dream worth dreaming.

I'd love to hear from you.  Please connect with me on the  Facebook Page and Instagram feed to get more Yoga wisdom, science, style, and fun everyday! And make sure to Subscribe to Everyday Yoga for more great posts like this one delivered to your inbox!
   
This post is part of a series on:
When Things Fall Apart, Heart Advice for Difficult Times by Pema Chodron.

The book is available for purchase here on the website: When Things Fall Apart

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Another Quote from Pema Chodron from When Things Fall Apart


If you are like me you are confronted with frustrating situations everyday. Too many tasks, too little time, making mistakes, being confronted by the mistakes of others. It is so easy to get angry and shit kick around in a foul mood. Going to war with your self and others. But what does it get you? More bad feelings of course. Try if you can to choose peace.

Give yourself and others compassion for the predicaments and pressures you face. When mistakes are made remember that we are human and mistakes will be made. Try to look to the good intentions and the many things that have gone right to just get you to the point of experiencing this mistake. In short, choose peace. The benefits are enormous and you and those around you deserve it.
Suggested Reading:
When Things Fall Apart, Heart Advice for Difficult Times
by Pema Chodron.
The book is available for purchase here on the website: When Things Fall Apart

Please connect with me on the Facebook Page or follow us on the newInstagram feed to get more Yoga wisdom, science, style, and fun everyday!

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When Things Fall Apart

I am at the end of a 7 year relationship. I can still remember how happy I was when my ex and her daughter came to live with me about 6 years ago. Over time things shifted between my partner and me. It was really sad. And now they are gone and I am lonely. Sometimes I feel worthless, hopeless and like it makes no sense to keep trying to do things, since this relationship did not work out. A wise friend pointed out how much joy and love I shared with my girlfriend and her daughter. How much laughter and support. So was I wrong to get involved with her since it did not work out? No, it was a time of great learning for me and healing too. And I think it was for them as well. Though it is painful now, this pain will pass and the benefits and added richness to my life will linger. Here is another irony. I was scared of having this breakup. The things I loved about us being together, I did not want to lose, even though the relationship was no longer satisfying in many ways. My fear of loss kept me from taking action. Eventually my girlfriend decided to leave me. And you know what? The pain of loneliness is not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. In the half dead relationship there was a lot of loneliness too but I held on for the little juice that was left. And though I wish I could have spared my girlfriends daughter from the pain of this breakup and kept her fun, young energy in my life, I am in many ways liberated. There was so much my girlfriend could not accept about me, So many ways catering to her held me back from being me. I did not expect the joy of freedom that has also accompanied our breakup. That happiness is there and it is strong. If I had left more room for not knowing, I could have had a much easier time of it. I could have stayed in a place of appreciation for what we did have, while also being aware of what was missing. But of course I probably needed the thing to end before I could really see it clearly. Reading When Things Fall Apart is helpful.

Suggested Reading:
When Things Fall Apart, Heart Advice for Difficult Times
by Pema Chodron.
The book is available for purchase here on the website: When Things Fall Apart



I'd love to hear from you.  Please connect with me on the  Facebook Page and Instagram feed to get more Yoga wisdom, science, style, and fun everyday! And make sure to Subscribe to Everyday Yoga for more great posts like this one delivered to your inbox!
   
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