Five Minutes of Bliss: Relaxation Breath

Here's what I love about this week's practice. It is so simple and unobtrusive, you can do it anywhere. On line at the grocery store check out, no problem. At your desk while the boss is yelling (again) or the computer is frozen (again), no sweat. Driving with a car full of fighting kids, no worries. No kidding. This breathing exercise, appropriately named, relaxation breath, will take you back to a calm state when your fight or flight response is just getting going.
My understanding is that my teacher Sri Yogi Dharma Mittra developed this practice so he could settle during his lunch hour without calling attention to himself. Since it is so versatile, effective and easy to do, it is the pranayama I teach the most and a practice I reach for regularly, when things get hectic and I feel my body tightening.

Image by mrhayata, licensed by Creative Commons.

Here's how:
Come to a comfortable position, back straight, head erect, shoulders back and down. Inhale through the nose for 8 counts, hold for 4, exhale for 8. Repeat. That's it. Within 6 cycles you will trigger your parasympathetic nervous system, slowing your heart rate, your metabolism and your mind. You will feel relaxed and energized and be happy to wait in line, take verbal abuse or ignore what is going on in the back seat for as long as you need to. This is a rare gem of an exercise since it is so simple, versatile and effective. In 8, hold 4, out 8, repeat. 2 minutes minimum is recommended (6-8 breaths). More will only make the relaxation deeper so feel free to keep going.

When you do this and have some positive experiences to share or any questions, I'd love to hear about it.

Five minutes of Bliss: Inviting the Ocean

We are primordial creatures. Our genetic inheritance begins in the sea. The ocean is echoed in our bodies which are mostly salty water. In just a few minutes we can come into contact with our flowing, briny selves and feel refreshed and invigorated.

Thank you for the image Magpie Tales

Here's how:
Begin standing comfortably and breathing easily with your eyes gently closed. Try to maintain slow even breathing throughout. Take a few moments to check in with your self. Ask and answer, "How am I feeling?" Scan your body and notice any sensation. Make a mental note of anything special that is calling out to you. Any pain or discomfort, any excitement or relaxed feelings, any areas hard to access or numb. Whatever you find.

In this practice you will bring your attention to your joints and move them each in turn in an effort to lubricate and soften them. Following the patterns of the sea, you may choose undulating motions or spiral motions or any other gentle motion that feels right. You can start anywhere, I personally like starting with the fingers. There are so many joints to explore so many digits so many different motions. And as you work the fingers and hands the wrists and elbows will cry out for inclusion and you will respond by getting them involved, first letting the wrists lead and seeing what they call forth and then when you are ready moving onto the elbows.

Try to stay loose and receptive. Let whatever joint you are focused on lead your movement but let the rest of your body support what you are doing as well. Try to give every joint some time before you are done. There is a joint at the top of the spine below the skull, approximately between the ears, give it some play. Don't forget to loosen the jaw and bathe it with fluid motion. At some point you may want to change your relationship to gravity, coming onto all 4s or lying on the ground to give your back, hips, legs and feet fuller range. Work slowly enough to be monitoring the feedback your body offers and continue to follow it. If you find yourself in repetitive motion ask if that is what your body is really asking for or are you stuck in a groove? Keep listening and responding.

When you are feeling finished take some time for a final check in. How do you feel now? What does your body feel like? How does it compare with how you felt before? Each time is different but I often find that I feel more relaxed, steadier, enlivened and focused than when I began. I love that this kind of shift is always just 5 minutes away and wish I would remember to take advantage of it more often than I do.

After you try it, I'd love feedback on how it went. If you have any questions about the instructions, please let me know. This is a variation on an experience I enjoyed in a Continuum Movement workshop with authorized teacher Elaine Colandrea. Anything we like about this we owe to her teaching and anything lacking in the instruction is my fault alone.

Bodylift Headstander and my dilemma

I have four herniated discs in my back. One in my thoracic spine and 3 in the lumbar region. About 5 years ago I had an acute incident that was incredibly painful and kept me out of work for two weeks. It was ironic that as a yogi I was dealing with this issue and it lead me on a quest to find things that would truly support my back health.

As I slowly recovered and experimented with different treatments and exercises, the one I was most drawn to and seemed to respond best to was chair poses. No, not Grandma's chair yoga but positions and practices that use the chair as a support, a massage tool and an antigravity device to help me slowly and methodically work all areas of my back and legs.
A few months ago I realized that the Headstander is a great thickly cushioned platform for doing this kind of work. One problem I now have is that the item is discontinued, so if I want more I need to have a couple of thousand made. They would need to sell for about $120.00 retail.
I actually have the the manufacturing situation lined up but it will cost me tens of thousands of dollars and I'll have a lot of chairs to sell. I'm inclined to do it because I'd really like to share this awesome therapeutic tool but I'd love some feedback. What do you think?

Bee and Flower vs. Kiss My Face

    You might think after a multi-month break from blogging during which momentous changes have occurred in my life, like my kicking my nicotine habit and my girlfriend and her six year old daughter moving in with me that I would rejoin you with something BIG!  I'm sure I will share some heavy stuff with you here at some point, but right now I'm real excited about something small that is ripe today.
     Way back in January, I had an idea for a series of blogs about a competition between Bee and Flower and Kiss My Face soaps.  They are both all natural, vegan soaps easy on the Earth and good for my sensitive skin.  I was at the health food store trying to decide which to buy.  The Bee and Flower bars are small and cost about $1.25.  The Kiss My Face Olive and Aloe is large and and cost about $3.75.  I was caught.  Stuck.  Undecided.

     I like the scent of the Bee and Flower varieties especially Sandalwood and Rose.  I appreciate the heft of the Olive Oil Bar and the feel of it on my skin.  Since I dig them both for different reasons this line of thought wasn't helping me decide which to get.  So I tried to think about which was a better bargain.  Here again I was flummoxed.  Bee and Flower bars were a bit over 2 ozs each and the Olive bar 6 point something.  The bigger bar is 3 times the weight and 3 times the cost.  No help there.   I thought since they start small the Bee and Flowers might vanish quicker but they are very hard and might not wash away so fast.  I thought that the olive bar  was softer and might not last very long but the truth was I just couldn't figure it out.  Then I realized for a little over $7.00 I could do a test.  And I could report the results here. 
     I bought 3 bars of Bee and Flower and one Olive Oil and Aloe and the competition was begun.  Each bathing day I switched off, one day using the Bee and Flower the next using the Kiss My Face bar and so on.  It wasn't very scientific.  One morning I might be in a hurry, another I might take a bath.  Weekends when my girlfriend slept over were the trickiest, trying to discern which bar she used and then using the other.  But what I hoped was that over time all this would even out and somehow a clear winner would emerge.  I thought of sharing about this whole thing while it was happening but I never got motivated to do it, till now.
     Yesterday, 6 months after I started doing this and 6 weeks after my solitary living was replaced with family life a definite result emerged.  Here is the picture:

On top of my girlfriend's jar of facial scrub you can see the result of my months of disciplined soap use.  Fairly even chips of Bee and Flower and Kiss My Face Olive Oil and Aloe are left.   So after all that, I learned that they are both a good deal compared to each other.  If I really want to decide which soap to buy I will have to dig deeper.  Maybe I'll research the respective companies to see who is a better corporate citizen or treats their worker's better.  Or maybe I should just relax and decide by what feels right at the moment?  Maybe I think too much?  Ya think?
   Of course if I didn't I might not have anything to blog about.....  Have a great day.  I'll try to stay in touch now that I'm back.....

Hello Again - A warm lovely story....

It has been awhile since I posted and a lot has happened.  I have lots to share about but I won't be doing it now.  For now I'm just checking in and sharing a sweet story that really seemed to me to reach into the experience of love.  I couldn't write anything warmer and more inspiring, so I just wanted to share this.  Have a great day ;--)

The shower curtain is open. Not closed. It's a pet peeve of mine. Oh, I suppose everyone has pet peeves like this. You know, the position of toilet seat lids, the use of coasters, where shoes belong and whether they are worn in the house. People latch on to particular symbols of respect, order and feng shui in their living arrangements.
And the shower curtain is open. Again. I have lost count of the times I've addressed this vital, world changing issue with Aaron. He always agrees. Renews his commitment to close the shower curtain. And then doesn't. Aaron doesn't have the close-the-curtain gene.
Aaron is 17 years old. He showered before he left. I know that because I'm standing in the doorway of my bathroom, and the shower curtain is open. Only this time I don't stride forward and close the curtain with an exasperated sigh. Instead, I pause. I'm beholding the open curtain much the way I would behold a creche at Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve. I gaze at the affronting, gaping bathtub like I once gazed years ago into Aaron's crib at the wonder of his peaceful sleep induced by a breast-fed coma. There will be plenty of time to close the curtain. Right now I'm feeling his vital presence wrought by this ironic icon of his absence.
Odd what we think is important, yes?
Aaron doesn't live here anymore.
This morning, Aaron woke up in barracks. In a bunk. I don't know if it was a top bunk or a bottom bunk, but a bunk, nonetheless. Fort Jackson, S.C. People are yelling at him a lot. And he likes it. He says it inspires him. Makes him feel respected, because the people are yelling because they believe in him. They want all the man he is to come to fore. He likes that. He wants it.
I smile inwardly, thinking that if his commanding officer asks Aaron to close the shower curtain, he'll only have to ask once. Maybe twice if Aaron wants to get yelled at some more, not to mention doing 30,000 or so push-ups. I'm no longer the chief authority in Aaron's life. He has been telling me that in pieces these past several months. That baton has been passed. It's my job to let go of the baton. The truth is, it's all I've ever wanted for him.
Yet, I don't want to let go of the baton. But that's what happens when you work yourself out of a job. I best embrace Aaron now by surrendering my embrace. It's a palpable paradox.
Aaron is 17 years old, and he knows who he is and likes who he is. Not many 17-year-olds about whom I can say that. Certainly not me at 17. Not even close. From the time he was born, Aaron was the boy who believed things should be fair. He is Justice Boy. He hates bullies. He thinks people should take turns, share and respect one another. He is protective of those who have less power.
Public high school didn't work for him. In his own words, it was a "baby-sitting service" that too often wasted his time. So, instead of bailing into entitled inertia, self-destruction or acting out behavior, he "put the pedal to the metal" and wrested his diploma one year early. Then he brought me a government form asking for my signature, allowing him to join the Army while still technically a minor.
I confess this would all be easier had he ran off to a tech school to learn to be a plumbing contractor. Nope, Justice Boy has other fish to fry.
The mojo of an authentic life, lived in self-respect, obedient to an authentic calling: It's all I ever wanted for him. And, what do you know, he has that. In spades.
So, why am I so sad? Feeling so vulnerable? Because the bonds of love can have no other outcome but to include sadness and vulnerability. It's what author Judith Viorst calls "a necessary loss." She's right.
Aaron found a path. He sprints down that path, into the next chapter of his life. Which means that I must now embrace the next chapter of my own life.
I close the shower curtain and get on about exactly that.

by Steven Kalas
Steven Kalas is a behavioral health consultant and counselor at Clear View Counseling Wellness Center in Las Vegas and the author of "Human Matters: Wise and Witty Counsel on Relationships, Parenting, Grief and Doing the Right Thing" (Stephens Press). His columns appear on Sundays. Contact him at skalas@ reviewjournal.com.